Five

I began walking five miles a day. Keep it simple, one step in front of the other. I’ve joined gyms, bought the equipment – but none of it sticks. So I’m giving this a try.

As I write this, it’s day ten. I’m surprised how challenging it’s been, both mentally and physically. Everything hurts. It’s like I’ve atrophied and now expect my body to transport me places. I require a hot bath and need an afternoon nap. It’s depleting and humbling – and the best thing I’ve done for myself in a while.

I’ve resolved to just walk – no phone, or podcasts to make the most of the 100 minutes. I head out the driveway, go up and down the rolling hills from our ranch to the vineyard across the way. Little bunnies and the occasional deer can be spotted. It does not take long until my thoughts shift inward to the old familiar records. “This is a waste of time” and “What exactly is the point of this? ” One morning, I started spontaneously crying but kept my feet going and eventually walked out of the pity party.

Today’s walk was still hard, but I did notice a new perspective, “Wow, I’ve walked 50 miles.” A little bit each day adds up to something big pretty fast. I’m the most successful in my work when I show up and do a little each day. Some days nothing useful is produced. Those are not wasted days, because I’m learning what not to do – like building and toning muscles even when the needle on the sale refuses to move. Resistance is always there to keep us from growing and changing. The only way to defeat it is to face it head on and take the next step.